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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Total Recall of Awesome Movies


So my taste in movies is eclectic at best.  Apart from chick flicks, which I abhor with a irrational level of gag-reflex inducement, I'll watch pretty much anything.  When I saw the trailer for Total Recall, I knew it was going to be a keeper.  Of course, in some gross oversight in my education, I had never seen any classic Arnie flims, so caught the original TR with the male half of The Married One in Welly, It was beautiful.  I loved it.  Hilarious.  Since then, I've seen the first three Terminator movies (coming from the girl who's seen Sharktopus, how did this happen?!) and loved them equally as much.  TOO has given me The Fifth Element to entertain my weekend, I can't wait.

Bit of a side track.  What on earth was my point?

Oh yeah - the new Total Recall movie!  Hilarious!  They travel through the centre of the earth in seventeen minutes!  They undergo a 'gravity reversal' at the core!  I love this shit!  The inhabitants of 'The Colony' (one of two settlements left on earth - 'The United Federation of Britain', and Australia - the rest of the planet is supposedly a nuclear wasteland) provide the workforce for TUFB, the people of which one assumes are the upper class (also, how much are Australians loving this movie?!  'The Bank of New Asia' Ha!) and some of which still drive 'classic' cars on the ground, while the rest have magnetic hover cars in ridiculous number above.

Pollution, obviously, ceased to be a problem.  As did generic shade from the megatonnes of infrastructure built all over the remaining inhabitable earth; sunlight still shines on the rich living on the ground level in TUFB, driving their petrol powered cars (where is the oil coming from?!) and wearing classic suits and hats.  And, supposedly, eating synthetically produced 'nutrition' since there must be no farmland left.

The Colony, in comparison, is a generic representation of punk-China-Town-slash-venice, with perpetual rain.  Supposedly overcrowded and poor, the people commute to TUFB via a massive pod-thing which shoots down into and through the earth (Yes!).  However the apartments are spacious and full of designer furnature (oh, of course we have artfully strewn blankets on an unmade bed to look slovenly and poor), the streets, while crowded, were clean and the 'red light district' was a tame party hub (yes, yes - three boobs.  Woohoo).  However - irrelevant details.

The plebs get up in the morning, jump in "The Fall" to commute to work ("The Fall Enslaves Us All!"), and arrive...in the morning.  Seventeen minutes later.  And at the end of the day, they jump back in and arrive home...at night fall.  Yep.

I love this shit!  Ohmygod!

And the grogeous CF spends the opening scene of the movie shirtless, as requested.  *sigh*.  What more could a movie need?!  Oh! Oh!  He also plays the piano from a memory he's forgotten!  There was an almost-moment of my wanting to jump him into the screen.  It was brilliant.

The plot was extremely similar to the original, bar the Mars aspect (sad), the fighting was hilarious, Kate was a brilliant bitch and overall I left the theatre with the biggest godamn grin on my face.  I'm sure the people behind us were getting annoyed at my delighted laughter.

Win!

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Monsters.  It was missing some sweet ridiculous monsters.  (Can't wait for the Doctor to come back).

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