Beautiful sound-bites in this weeks
True Blood (S04E05).
The only two commandments worth remembering:
"
Don't kill shit and don't fuck with your parents"
We finally see the trash Mickens' family bite the pole, wielded by Tommy, perhaps the only worthwhile thing he has done. Ever. We find out Sam is a deep well (you can bury bad-assed-ness in a well, right?) and 'gators love marshmallows to the point of being willing to ingest plastic tarps to get at them. Good to know.
Arlene and Terry put on their good church clothes to chase ghosts and demons out of their house, with the help of Rv. Daniels and Tara's crazy-ass momma, who apparently managed to make the dude drop his wife and marry her instead, sometime during the weird faery vacation.
"
You hear me Rene? You keep your ghost hands off
my baby"
"
you people" "
You know...religious".
"
Smells like pot". "
Not really." Thanks Terry. Sage and bible-aiming. Magical powers, that.
Also - I am a wee bit worried about the time lines here, Rene died waaaay back in Season 1, and the kid is still wee - even after the faery vacation time-lapse. In the books, sure, I'd buy that. 8 books in the space of ~2 years or so, right? But HBOverse? Ultra-cooked bebe? Whatever. Rockin' evil baby. I'm pleased Arlene is not being such a textbook trailor-Mum so much now, blaming a ghost is a step up from blaming the baby, right?
Now, what's with the strangulation of vamps this ep? They don't breath, are immensely strong and can heal super fast, why not laugh in the face of strangulation? Why suddenly start pretending to need to breathe? (bar talking, of course). Surely,
surely such heavy breathing would wake a woman from sleep?! Who, in man-dreams is wearing
lacy bits and in reality is wearing a
godawful sleep T, by the way?
And would someone,
please, get Eric some
godamn clothes? That
trashy horror film slashed hoodie (not that he spends much time in it), and those
nasty shorts... That man was
born for jeans. Sort it out!
However, twice in one night, Viking comes a'knockin. He makes room calls now?
Perfect. Forgiven.
How is it that they have managed to make a story entirely about Sookie and Eric, have only so few and sporadic scenes with them in it?! Urgh! I love his waking face.
And him being all cute and scared with Sookie after his 'bad dream' is just darling. I feel this
might have reached the end of my
cutesy tolerance however; get some
balls back Eric, enough with the whole '
treating Sookie like your Mum' thing, you've had long enough to adjust, you can't be a snivelling emo kid inside for reals. I also hear his cubby has been renamed '
Viking Vampire Narnia'. Lovely. Also, Sookie sweetie,
don't make him make promises you don't want him to keep. Just saying.
Pissing contest between Were's - who's boots are nicer, friend?
Wtf, man?
He's the packmaster of Shreveport?!
Come on ABall! Alcide could take him! Him
and his lanky hair. Why he is making the Were's out to be shitty thieves and motorbike gangers is
unknown.
Poor form ABall.
Nice attire Alcide.
Get 'em Alcide! Get 'em with your massive, massive guns!
Jase's hilarious dream with Jessica
and Hoyt - brilliant. Gross; and how is he so ok with that after being raped in a shed for so long? Surely he'd have issues for a couple days
at least? Fuck Jesus' graddaddy (Goat-killer!), fuck Tara/Toni (not my mail, what?), fuck the Bellefleur's (thanks for the genetics lesson Portia) - anyone else think evil-baby was
watching Arlene and Terry?! Urgh. How 'bout we cut half of these story lines out? I did enjoy the wee 'spirit reading' aside, that was well done. I love that Marnie was so confused, thinking only she could hear Gran.
Wake up sweetheart, you are only causing problems for everyone with your happy parasitic
benevolent spirit. Lay off the incense for a couple of days, see if your head clears a wee bit.
*coughTrelawneycough*
"
Oh good. The world needs more bee keepers."
Poor Pam. Bill is using
Alienware in his illegal detention compound (the 'authority' are so against humans getting hurt, but abduction and incarceration? Totally fine.), sneaky sneaky with the product placement. Guess the sales of
Tru Blood aren't doing so well...
Also, more from the
Comic-Con meanies, ABall had this to say: "For those who read the books, you know that fairies are born in litters and are identical." So that
wasn't Claudine (poor
Claudette?!), and I don't know about
litters, but multiples, sure. Called it! Ha. (is
this my life?! Yes! Embrace it!).
End kiss? Average.
Awkwardly average. Grasping outstretched hands? Walking-away-to-get-called-back ploy? Crazy-camera-eyes?!
God, I can't even think where this is all going next week. I feel like I need a holiday after each ep, just to absorb so many plot lines.
"Vampires have often found it advantageous to maintain a hidden presence in humanities most powerful institutions. In the 1600's that was the Catholic Church and today, as you all know, it's Google...and Fox News."
Best. Line. Bill.