Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Classical pumping

Yesterday was shit.  Just one of those days where everything is harder than it should be, you end up with more to do after realising just how much you have to do anyway and then you ring your mum to have a whinge and she tells you to take a cup of concrete, princess.

Not what I needed to hear.

I also had feedback about a fiction piece I submitted to a competition, first piece written with having anyone else read it in mind: but the judges didn't like it, and now it will go back into the pit without further airing.  Also had someone say my first finished chapter was 'rubbish', but turns out they were joking and hadn't even read it yet.

Sometimes the feeling of 'no matter what I do, it's never good enough' is too strong to bear.

Anyway - today has made up for it already.  My porridge was the perfect consistency (a very rare occurrence), the Trouble was well behaved and cute (might have helped I gave him treats for breakfast), I had classical pumping out too loud in my car on the way to work with the windows down and the wind in my hair, I have a big coffee warming me slowly from the inside and I had a sweet chat with my dealer (the Barista, she's just lovely) which mostly consisted of my being all like "I want to finish and blow this popsickle stand" and blah blah then "Masters?",  "No, PhD, I've been here for 8 years!"  and then:

"Oh.  Wow.  You don't look like you've been here for 8 years!"

I said thanks and flounced out the door in a brilliant mood with a handful of delicious coffee and good cheer.  Looking back, perhaps it was a critique of my childlike clothing style or hairdo or wrinkle-lacking-face (not true, I both huge-smile and frown too much, and my faceskin is showing the results.  Add in the inherited early greys and I'm on the golden paved road to mad-cat-lady-hood already.  Of course only I notice the wrinkles and the greys are mostly hidden inside the mass-mop, so we have a few years of 'faux youthful appearance' left yet I think...).  Its brilliant how good you can make someone feel with just a throw-away, but honestly sincere comment.

Sometimes I also think I should just write in parentheses completely.  It just works out better that way.

Where was I?  Never mind.

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